Riding The Mattress

As with most legendary events written into the history of the Overhouse, Mattress Rides were born of the union of boredom, alcohol, and general disregard for the safety and well-being of the participants. After Russell procured a new bed for his room, he found himself unable to just throw the old one away. It was this uncanny foresight that enabled the members of Overman and friends, some weeks later, to create one of the more dangerous, yet ultimately more fulfilling sporting events of the age. Roughly twenty feet of old chain were attached the rear of a Saturn and looped through a convenient hole in the mattress, a human was placed upon it, and liberal force was applied to the accelerator pedal. Much skepticism was found in the various spectators, but all were convinced after only minutes of playing "crack the whip" at 30 mph across the lawn. It is clear that the combination of stomach-churning sideways slides, the whirlwind of grass clippings flung faceward, and the heady perfume of oil-burnt exhaust clouding the air make for an exciting athletic challenge. The goal being to fling the rider from his conveyance, grievious injuries were oft predicted, but have yet to occur. Andy Foster almost got run over, but the incident was agreed to be humorous by all in attendance.